How about a thread for some poor climate verse?

The Church of the Holy Molecule


The Church of the Holy Molecule
says anyone caught burning fossil fuel
should there still be folk, so evil or dense
will have to be fried, on the first offence.

Carbon capping's the only way,
so top them, if that, they will not say,
for the Royal Society of London town
(as the Church used to be known)
in fine show of fellowship,
gave deniers the thumb turned down.

So, go jump on your cycle, Milankovitch,
and set your legs to rapid twitch,
ring your bell and pedal like hell,
or like any other wizard or witch,
you'll be taught, you odious astronomy pedlar,
about warming that's not remotely solar.

The molecular church has an income stream
about which retiring bankers
are only allowed to dream
And it's so choir-boy friendly and clean
that pious popes can only keen.

-----

The Thin Air Burial Society


Oh dear me, oh my,
they say the sky is about to fry
Daddy won't you dump your SUV
and leave a little air for me?

All the carbon baggers say
if they do not have their way,
there'll be melted icebergs overhead
and leopard seals lounging, in my bed.

Dad, the polar bears, that's what Al said,
will all turn a delicate shade of red
and herds of emperor penguins
will play hockey in your shed.

But, Hey, Dad, here comes the cavalry,
it's the Thin Air Burial Society!
They gonna s'quester, do or die
all the carbon dioxide, out the sky!

Chorus (The marching song of the Carbon-baggers)

Herding CO2, Yahooooo!
Trading it away, Eeeebay!
It's the ultimate boondoogle,
Gooooogle Gooooogle!
We'll pack your pensions plans aloft
in software, free from Microsoft!

At just four-fifty parts per million
for the bargain price of a hundred trillion
Al's troops are gonna hold the line
and drive them carbons down some mine.

Riding shotgun on trace gas
is a job for every lad and lass.
Why bother bailing the banks,
when they're empty? Ask the Yanks.

To help buy Al another nuclear sub
to exterminate the sceptics who snub
his inconvenient video.
Just pay thru Paypal, that's the go.

Public domain. Ignore, swallow,improve, worsen or lengthen to suit.

SS2C Jones, Closeburn, Queensland, Oz, April Fools Eve, 2009.